any takers???

To whosoever it may concern

I am moving to Mumbai, to be specific, to Nerul , tomorrow on a new assignment.  The assignment may extend up to three years.  My family would be joining me at Nerul by Apr 2012 III week.  Hence, this proposal. 

I am a male, 40 plus years young, straight, energetic, enthusiastic, highly sociable across all genders-more specifically across the feminine gender.  Even though I can’t afford anything, I can pay for everything as I have VISA power.  (I hold  six VISA credit cards and one MAESTRO credit card; of course I don’t use debit card becoz., hardly there will be any money in the related account).  All I want is a companion for live in relationship the terms of which are set out hereunder.

Company should be                        :               strictly of Female sex

Age stipulations                                                :               between 28 to 35 years

Vitals                                                     :               not very specific but should be good looking & graceful (pot                                    

                                                                                belly a serious constraint)

Tentative period                              :               50 days (from 25.02.2012 to 14.04.2012, both days inclusive)

To share                                               :               all experiences and all expenses on equal basis

Education                                            :               never matters until and unless the applicant is worldly wise

Others                                                  :               should have the practice of bathing twice daily and brushing

                                                                                minimum twice daily (that does not mean the applicant has

                                                                                OCD-obsessive compulsive disorder and keeps on having bath

                                                                                and keeps on brushing teeth umpteen times)

continuation of relationship        :               will be considered after the lapse of 50 days on a discrete

                                                                                one to one discussion basis

other conditions                               :               females with a younger sister aged above 25 are preferred

caste/creed/religion                       :               no bar

ethnicity                                              :               no bar

any reservations                              :               strictly no reservations, I would have full authority to enter or                                                                    conclude a relationship (of course, this would be negotiable in

                                                                                case of a highly deserving applicant)

my family’s permission                  :               applicant need not worry, I will manage this issue; applicant has                                                                                                to manage issues with her family, if any

income stipulations                         :               not an issue until and unless she has the ability to share all

                                                                                expenses on an equal basis

relationship base                             :               of course at the applicant’s place only as I have no place

                                                                                suitable rentals will be paid (50% only)

I cordially invite all interested (and of course eligible) to send a response to this blog duly quoting their e mail id/mobile number etc.  A link to their CV may be provided and password protected.  Password may be SMSed to me on my cell number available in my profile.  Last date tentatively is 27.02.2012-would be extended if sufficient nominations are received by then).

Assuring a great experience and honest 50% sharing of expenses.

is there a wife who can understand what a loving husband actually needs?

this story courtesy: my dear colleague james

one night, a caring wife boiled two eggs for her adorable husband.
husband back from a heavy day at the office
told his wife
'you should have fried the eggs, why did you boil'

next day, wife had a clue
so she fried the eggs
husband back from another heavy day at the office
remarked
'i expected you would have boiled the eggs'

next day the wife had become really intelligent
boiled one egg and fried the other
hubby back after another gruelling day at the office
did not stay behind in conveying what he wanted
'arrey honey, today you have boiled the egg which
should have been fried and fried the egg which should have
been boiled'

why wives never try to understand a husband's need??

visa power

truly speaking, i can't afford anything

but but

i can pay for everything

coz.,

i have visa credit card

i.e., the power of visa!!!!

so there is visa for evertyhing!!!!

art of fart!!

No one can forget chatur’s blabbering in ‘3 idiots’.  Rajkumar hirani also elicited great fun through chatur by his comments on farting.

Now lemme share a bit of my knowledge about farting.  The essence of fart is embedded in a Sanskrit sloka, I hope all wud rejoice.

Uttamam darra purrancha

Madhyamam koyya peeyancha

Tussakaram maha ghoram

Nishabdam prana sankatam

(rough translation: the fart which gets out with a loud noise is the best quality fart-has only sound; the middle quality comes out with koy, peey sound- has some sound little aroma; the one which comes as tussssssssssss can cause lot of problems to the neighbours becoz it has fragrance; but the silent farts can really kill)

So I have made up my mind to fart always with a darr sound.  Any company?

 

saptaksharee mantra

Long ago, poets/story writers/teachers never had the fancy income of the likes of jeofrey archer, chetan bhagat, amish tripathi, j k rowling etc.  one of the oldest poets of kannada, kavi muddana once told his wife that the saptaksharee mantra which guides the life of a poet is ‘bhavati bhikshandehi’. 

Similarly, I have a saptaksharee mantra for ever complaining wives; in kannada it is ‘mane bit tolagu’ which has seven kannada letters (rough translation in English ‘get lost’ also has only seven alphabets!).

Hope all likeminded appreciate this.

dear parul who left us last week

with lot of grief, i hereby share the most untimely demise of dear parul, my colleague's daughter!

the family was living in a spacious rohini (new delhi) apartment.  on that unfortunate day,

she went to play in the ground floor.  in the corner of the big apartment complex, there is a large underground water storage tank which has five or six openings covered by heavy metal lids.  usually children play on it.  apparently, there should not be any problem.  but, still difficult to guess, she fell in to the tank through the half opened lid (that is also surprising but ........)  and by the time the safety measures were in place, she had gone far enough to be back to us.

tv coverage, paper news followed.  well wishers thronged the colleague's place.  suggestions were pouring in,  despite knowing that the little life of the five year old was far from reach.  but i felt one of the friends gave a very apt suggestion.  i quote it here for the benefit of all.

the child was five years old.  if only, it knew swimming? was the friends thought.  the kid would have definitely got bit more time which could have saved her for us.  even though it is an after thought, i feel it has a point for future.  why can't we aim at making our child stronger, self reliant?  i have seen many three year olds being trained the art of swimming.  a self defense course would also help.  i hope we get a lesson here.  there is a quote which says 'mother is not a person to rely on; mother is a person who should make the relying unnecessary'.  isn't it true?

despite all these: parul will never be back.  her smile, naughtiness, bubbly nature is going to stay in our minds for ever.  saying rip to parul, let us pray the almighty to give courage to the family (she was the only child) to bear the loss.

seeking confirmation, the best management tool (????)

seeking confirmation: the management view:

when a number of branches have to comply with a task, it is normal to call for confirmation from the branches to ensure that the desired work is done.  it is expected that the person giving confirmation would have completed the desired work and does not make the confirmation a formality. 

but actually:

due to work load or system issues or industrial relation issues or the enormity of the task or lethargy on part of the operating official or what so ever many times the pressure from the management to get the confirmation letter becomes more rather than getting the underlying work done.  so, branch heads are often prone to sign a number of confirmations without having actually done the underlying work.  the controllers would also be happy that the confirmation has come (so the branch head can be killed later if some thing crops up....).

i think following analogy describes this phenomenon well:

family doctor told my daughter to eat an apple daily before going to bed.  as a father, it was my duty to ensure the same.  but i am very busy, highly occupied etc etc.  so, i kept a register in the house and asked my daughter to maintain it.  the register would have three or four columns.  in the first column, daughter writes the date, in second column she writes 'daddy, i have eaten an apple weighing 175 gms today'.  in the third column she signs.  i will be back late night after a gruelling day/evening and sign the register for having seen that.  i am happy daughter is maintaining the register.  she is also happy as father is not querying more.

win win situation???